Wizard's Defiance
by Asphalt Angel
Summary: Set during Deep Wizardry. After meeting with Nita on the beach, Carl returns home with a cluttered mind.


Title: Wizard's Defiance

Characters: Carl and Tom (imply whatever you want), and a little Peach

Rating: Light PG. Carl's mouth gets the better of him sometimes

Warning: Major _Deep Wizardry_ spoilers

Summary: After meeting with Nita on the beach, Carl returns home with a cluttered mind

Disclaimer: Diane Duane made this 'verse. I'm just playing in it.

A/N: This is my first fic in this fandom. I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

Carl felt like throwing up, and it wasn't just the aftereffects of transporting himself home. He stumbled into the bathroom, gripped the edges of the sink, and struggled through a few deep breaths as he tried to get his insides under control.

When he felt like he could move without the world tilting around him he reached out, turned off the faucet, and picked up the razor that had fallen on the floor. He'd just finished shaving when he'd gotten a mind-full of panicky Nita, and then-

_Oh, God, Nita…_

He took a gulp of water and spat, trying to rinse the acidic taste out of his mouth.

It didn't help much.

Moving on auto-pilot, he dressed in the clothes he'd laid out earlier- shorts and an old t-shirt, instead of his usual polo shirt… because he'd planned to lord it over Tom that he'd been the one who'd gotten to lounge around at home for a change.

He realized, suddenly and sickeningly, that he'd have to tell his partner that the sweet kid from the neighborhood was going to be the first wizard to die during their tenure as Seniors.

He shut his eyes and fought down the renewed nausea. When it passed, he went out into the kitchen, even though he wasn't hungry; something about keeping to routine was comforting.

The dogs, who'd obviously been waiting to be fed, bounded forward and butted up against his legs, whining for his attention.

_You're sad_, said Annie. _Should we find Tom for you?_

"No," Carl replied, putting a cupful of dry food into her bowl, then one into Monty's. "He'll be back soon. You two eat up."

The dogs didn't need to be told twice. They devoured their breakfast in a minute flat, and then he let them out into the back yard to run around- with the standard warning that they leave the neighbor's tabby cat alone. The last thing he needed in the mood he was in was an irate phone call from a little old lady…

Or a conversation with a similar-sounding macaw, but that didn't stop Peach from fluttering from her open cage to the kitchen table and landing on that morning's paper.

"Bird," he said warningly, "Don't start."

Peach stared at him for a moment, then scuttled back and let out an ordinary squawk. Carl raised a hand to swat her away, but the headline beneath her claws stopped him cold- _Scientists Say Seismic Activity In Atlantic Increasing._

"You don't need me to say anything," Peach said anyway. "You already know why the sea needs her power."

He did know, and fully understood what the impact of the Song would be, but it didn't help. Because he also knew with terrible, aching certainty that Nita was going to die. _Blood in the water… and one who shed it…_

"'For Life's sake,'" Peach reminded him, with a bit of reproof.

And Carl's carefully-held composure snapped. "What about her life?" He demanded. "Can't I guard that? What's the point of all this power if-" and he broke off, stunned at what he'd almost questioned.

Peach, mercifully, didn't reply.

At that moment Tom walked through the front door, singing under his breath- which meant his meeting had probably gone well. He celebrated the ordinary successes as he did the world-saving ones… because none of them knew when a sacrifice would have to be made…

"Carl?" Tom crossed into the kitchen in quick strides, all of his mirth gone. "Carl. What happened?"

"Nita. She- she took the-" He broke off, hurriedly dragging his sleeve across eyes- because tough boys from Brooklyn didn't cry, damn it.

But wizards did.

He heard Tom summon his Manual and ask for Nita's précis, heard the sharp intake of breath- followed by the dull thud of the book hitting the floor. And then Tom's hands were on his shoulders, gently guiding him down into a chair.

"She wanted to talk to you," Carl said miserably, shrugging off the touch. "Instead she got me and all the good I couldn't do."

Tom took a seat opposite him, shaking his head. "You must have had advice she needed. There are no accidents in this sort of thing."

The words were meant as a comfort, and Carl knew it, but his temper still flared. "Is everyone going to throw damned wizarding adages at me? You and the bird act like I haven't already thought of them myself!"

Tom cast a curious glance at Peach, who ignored him. "I was going to add that dying is a change, not an ending," he admitted, "but then I would have said that it's never seemed like much comfort… till after."

Carl looked away, suddenly feeling guilty for taking his anger out on his partner- who'd borne witness to as much death as he had. "Nita asked me if we could- no, if I could- do something to save her."

Tom nodded, unsurprised. "She's awfully young," he said quietly. Then, a beat later, "Which is why it hurts, of course."

Carl met his eyes reluctantly. "Part of me wished I could. Help her, I mean. I really did, even though I know what'll happen if she doesn't sing her part."

Peach chose that moment to interject again, "'Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.'"

Tom arched an eyebrow. "Having been warned off wizardly quotations, we're turning to the Biblical variety? You realize it's a matter of semantics."

But Carl managed an almost-smile. "You've made your point, Bird."

Because he recognized that no matter how much he wanted to save Nita- how tempting it was to use his wizardry to do such a thing- the Lone Power was in that temptation.

And he was sworn to fight.

Peach nipped at his fingers, then spoke again, "'I have raised my hand to the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and have taken an Oath that I will accept nothing belonging to you.'"

"You're better when you're giving stock market quotes," Tom remarked dryly.

Carl ignored him. "Letting things happen how they will," he said, and found it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. "That's going to be our defiance."

_For Life's Sake…_

He felt the thought slide across his mind, gentle and determined. He looked at Tom and nodded. "All right... So how was your meeting?"

* * *

The Biblical quotes are James 1:12 and Genesis 14:22


End file.
